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Antinques Roadshow descends on village

The line of residents, clutching an assortment of junk that, on any other day, would’ve been left anonymously on the doorstep of our sole charity shop, snaked over the stately home’s manicured lawn.Read

Mike attempts charity cross-country run

“Apart from that one day,” gushed our tanned hostess, clicking to another piggin’ image of their holiday apartment bathroom, the basin bedecked with lotus petals, “it was the break of a lifetime.”Read

Mike plans his funeral

I don’t want my funeral to be a sad occasion.Read

Mike attempts to save the local school

Our MP has admitted his public announcement that plans to turn the parish primary into a ‘super school’ are still on track contained some minor inaccuracies.Read

Chateau Lockley in mourning

“This doesn’t feel right,” I whispered while delicately placing another fragile bone China item, clothed in newspaper, in one of the many cardboard boxes scattered on the floor.Read

Mike visits the dentist

New dentist, same old drill.Read

Mike reaches the grand old age of... 52

“What’s that?” I demanded, pointed angrily towards the main road.Read

Mike's armed.... with a speed gun

Oh joyous day! At last the police have relented and given we community-minded members of Neighbourhood Watch the ‘teeth’ to combat what little crime there is in our rural backwater.Read

Chateau Lockley succumbs to World Cup fever

“Didn’t that hurt?” I gasped, mesmerised by the foot long Cross of St George tattooed on Colin’s jelly-like belly.Read

Mike enjoys a spot of birdwatching

On Saturday I dusted off my binoculars and went birdwatching.Read

Chateau Lockley enjoys the sunshine

Strange, strange, times…Read

Mike fails as a handy-man

My neighbour ‘relaxes’ through DIY, which he possibly possesses some kind of world title for: probably knocked-up the trophy himself.Read

Mike's political career is in tatters

“Mike Lockley...” I took a deep breath, clasped my wife’s hand and smiled smugly as the man in the over-sized papier mache head bounced manically beside me. “Stop Bears Dancing On Hot Plates Party…”Read

Clock-change throws Mike's sleeping pattern out of kilter

More than a little perturbed by news a woman has been jailed for playing fast and loose with the truth on her CV.Read

Mike jets off to Antigua

“Strange leg-wear,” I ventured, colouring slightly, “for a roofer, if you don’t mind me saying. Is it the light or are those sequins?”Read

Mike's supermarket slip-up

I spent a number of minutes yesterday chatting to someone I thought was my wife, but wasn’t.Read

Mike's local gets a visit from CAMRA

“Innkeeper,” the beer-bellied individual with scratchings in his shaggy beard boomed across the crowded snug, “we come in search of your finest porter.”Read

Mike's school reunion

I don’t mean to be maudlin, but during my 50 plus years on this planet, failure has been something of a constant companion. Bosom buddy, even.Read

Mike skips lunch

Did I really need this morning’s council flyer warning of the perils of eating discarded food from the municipal skip?Read

Chateau Lockley marks the end of 2009

Glad to see the back of 2009, to be honest.Read

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