Home Views & Blogs Mike Lockley

Worrying shadow overhangs Chateau Lockley

I am a worrier. It’s hereditary, like impotency: if your dad was impotent, there’s a very good chance you will be, too. Read

Welsh hotel break a sign of age?

An idyllic break in a rambling mid-Wales hotel for those, like my wife and I, of more mature years. Read

Weight-op debate in Chateau Lockley

A DISTANT relative has lost seven stone after undergoing an operation to have the surgical equivalent of an elastic band wrapped tightly round her intestine. Read

Getting behind traditional ales

If I had a Fair Isle jumper and beard, I’d join the Campaign for Real Ale. Read

Valentine's day a commercial rip-off

Valentine’s Day is commercial nonsense. I don’t need to purchase an over-priced card to convey my feelings towards my wife of 18 years. Read

Facing the calorie crunch

In a bid to remove excess baggage, my wife has booked into a health farm. I’m concerned. The excess baggage she wants to shed may be me. Read

In the mood for a protest

Plans to expand an airfield some 20 miles away will devastate our own idyllic parish, protesters claim. Read

Now that was a flash of inspiration

The boys in blue have cranked-up their efforts to find those responsible for disabling the parish’s sole speed camera by buying Pc Truscott a bike with more gears. Read

Twitchers swoop on Chateau Lockley

Opened the bedroom curtains this morning and there were hundreds of binoculars and cameras trained on our humble abode. Read

Country tragedy as Morris Dancers dwindle

I simply refuse to stand back and watch our dwindling band of morris dancers - there are now only three of them, and one of those is missing his left leg - become another part of rural life consigned to the history books. Read

Colin has the last word

Look at this. Someone has underlined all the dirty words in my Oxford Compact English Dictionary. Read

Marathon man

It is done. At the age of 50, hindered by ‘man-boobs’, as my son calls them, and a slight fungal infection, I have run a marathon. Read

Perks of a football parent

Life has indeed been kind since my son took the reins of the local kids’ soccer team. Read

Ale be ending my abstinence

“Set ‘em up Joe,” I shouted, rapping my fingers impatiently on the Drum and Monkey’s gleaming brass counter. Read

Powerless to stop The Deer Hunter

"To report a fault," the robotic message declared, "press one. For emergencies press two. For our service desk, press three. If you have a query about charges, press four. For further information press 0 and wait for an operator. If you know the extension you require, please key it in now." Read

Time for the hair-dryer treatment

"I know what this is about," I stammered, strafed by the heat of my tearful wife's verbal 'hair-dryer' treatment. "This is all about the time of the month." Read

Our dung is being recycled

Summer in our idyllic country retreat is at its height. I know this because the creatures that thrive in our loft - I'm too scared to open the hatch and discover what they are - now make more noise. Read

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